Underground
by Trivher
Summary: A rather strange and confusing song-fic ENJOY!


Underground [long version] Tabetha Vance Normal Tabetha Vance 4 283 2001-10-24T00:08:00Z 2001-10-29T06:18:00Z 4 1490 8493 70 16 10430 9.2720 

Would you believe I don't own the show, characters, or song?  Yep it's true I don't.  Sorry to disappoint you.

Underground  
-David Bowie.  
  
_No one can blame you  
For walking away_

He couldn't remember where he began it all.  Could no longer tell the difference between up and down.  Everything seemed to be going full circle around and around and around.  He liked it at times, loved it at others, but more often then not hated it.  But he couldn't or won't stop. Something was missing no one knew what, and many didn't even notice the gap of life.  Only he saw it.  Only he tried to find it and make everything whole again.  He never did.  Made a deal with the Devil's son and left it all.  It wasn't the spawn of the devil but it made no difference to him.  He didn't want to hurt them like he did, he had to.  It was all too dangerous.  
  


Too much rejection (na na)  
No love injection (na na)  
Life can be easy  
It's not always swell  
Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl  
'Cause it hurts like hell  
  


            That's how I used to hope how he died.  Valiantly for his family sacrifice his life to allow us to live.  It makes the thoughts of him, even the ones that are now just blurs easier to face.  I want him here though, more then anything else.  But that can't happen, this isn't the movies with magic chants to awake the dead.  When I get angry at him for leaving I simply convince myself of that hero story locked in my head.  Even though I know that's not sure, I know he'd never agree to have himself killed.  Still in some strange ways it does help me.  I miss him every day, his laugh, strong hug, and just having him near.

But down in the underground  
You'll find someone true  
Down in the underground  
A land serene  
A crystal moon, ah, ah

He now watches from above.   Protecting everyone he loves from harm.  Can't control the weather and the rains but he still controls their hearts.  In a land of mystery and sugar coated fantasies.  Here he never questions right from wrong.  Here everything just is with no questions asked.  Happy is what he wants to be.  But he can't.  Not without them, there is nothing he can do though.  They will arrive in time, when their hourglasses run out of sand.    
  
_It's only forever  
Not long at all  
Lost and lonely  
That's underground  
Underground_

He stopped being who he was before the minute he came here.  Only a shell of the person who used to control him.  He can never remember what he liked or hated.  Assumes it doesn't matter the past is the past.  But he thinks of them.  Especially the young one and fears for her.  And it angers him that he can't think of a reason of why she could cause such frustration inside of him.  But everyone knows that where he is nothing is challenged and everything not there is to be ignored.  Even though he's not suppose to feel emotions he does miss them.  
  
_Daddy, daddy, get me out of here  
Ha ha I'm underground  
Heard about a place today  
Nothing never hurts again  
Daddy, daddy, get me out of here_

I have to stop myself.  Stop my thoughts.  He's dead!  And no matter how I hard I wish for it change it never will.  Still I want to see him.  He'd understand me.   More then the others.  Nothing is left for me here, it's all gone astray.  I tried to run from it all, but it followed me.  I am sure it followed him too.  He's all alone thinking of me.  Not sad but not sad either.  I want to make him smile.  I want to be with him.

  
_Ah ha I'm underground  
Sister sister, please take me down  
Ah ah I'm underground  
Daddy, daddy, get me out of here_

She was no longer herself.  Even though the boy never knew who she was ever was.  Something had always been different about her.  Marching to a parade all her own, ignoring the rules, ignoring it all.  Still now it was different.  Something wasn't right.  He wanted to be like her.  Understand things must cannot, have a dream and chase after it everyday.  But the boy was more for living in reality, taking life has if flies towards you.  Not much for looking for the stray balls you missed to catch.  Having heard her speak of this world in her head where everything is ok, he doesn't care, not like we he hopes he could.  
  
_No one can blame you  
For walking away_  
  


            The boy didn't cry when she left.  Knowing she'd be back soon, the days of her coming home celebration would fly on by.  Maybe she could finally be happy, relax a little.  Try to forget it all.  He knew that was like asking to see the red sea part.  Just not going to happen.  Even though he was happy she was getting away, he couldn't help to wonder did he not try hard enough?  Could of walked five steps instead of just the three.  Tried a little harder to see things at eye level?

Too much rejection (na na)  
No love injection (na na)  
But down in the underground  
You'll find someone true  
Down in the underground  
A land serene  
A crystal moon, ah, ah

I forgot the address to reach them at.  That's a lie another one to throw on the stack.  I hate it all.  Hate them all.  I want to leave here, they won't miss me.  Moved on to my replacement someone I could never be, the thing they always wanted me to be.  I never call either the conversations bored me.  Along with everything else.  With him I won't be bored.  Everything would forever be happy and I could learn how to smile.  It would be perfect.  The world would be ours to control.  The stars at our fingertips.  To be happy, just to be happy is that asking for too much?  
  
_It's only  
It's only forever  
It's not long at all  
The lost and the lonely  
That's underground_

He feels something inside where his heart and soul used to be.  A feeling of doom, a feeling he cannot control.  And knows he caused it, someway, somehow years ago.  He knows it's the young one creating it all.  Still he doesn't try to stop her.  Wants her to come near.  To come to him.  To enable him to touch his past and no longer be alone.  
  
_Underground  
Daddy, daddy, get me out of here  
Heard about a place today  
Nothing never hurts again  
Daddy, daddy, get me out of here  
Ha ha I'm underground_  
  


            I don't care if they'll cry.  I doubt they will though.  I don't matter to them.  Only to him.  I tried to understand them, put on a show of being normal.  But I quit in the middle of the act.  Not like they noticed.  He did though, he to of!  I am just like him, his soul lives inside of me.  I don't care about the pain, it will not last.  Soon I'll be like him.  Soon people will create stories of hero's and dying for the sake of the world with me in the staring rolls.  Just like my stories of him and his finally days it'll all be lies.  I really don't care.

Sister, sister, please take me down  
Ah ha I'm underground  
Daddy, daddy, get me out

The boy awoke in a cold panting sweat.  Something was wrong.  On the edge of life and death.  Pleading within his soul the hopes it was just a dream and all was still the same in his world.  But the fear of everything was no longer the same was still in his mind, screaming at him.  It was the girl who created this, the girl who in a moment destroyed his world.  No prove of the situation was there but he knew it to be true.  Thoughts of his father flood him, cursing the same name he used to praise.  Trying to understand exactly what made him so damn special the girl had to follow.  The boy wonders if he's the fool for not seeing what she did, and hopes one moment if only for a second he'd understand it all.  
  
_Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground   
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground_

I didn't think it would be like this.  I knew it would be forever, no take backs allowed.  Just I had always pictured this scene to be different.  I don't see him.  How can he not be here picking me up in his arms?  I can still see the blood soaking into my shirt; I can whip the sweat off my neck.  I feel nothing.  The pain I felt the moment I stuck the knife is vanished.  I can't feel anything, not even emotions.  Everything in me seems to be set at melancholy and I can't change it.  I did this to be accepted into his world to keep him company.  But there is nobody here.  
  
_Daddy, daddy, get me out of here  
Ah ha I'm underground  
Sister sister please take me down_  
  


            He hadn't seen it happened, but felt it within his soul.  For a moment remembering all of his history.  Who he had been, what he did and how it all helped create the scene.  He killed her.  His stupid actions of going head first, ignore the signs of death was near, had killed her.  It wasn't fair.  He wasn't used to the emotions, especially of the one of guilt had to stop it.  He didn't know how but he had to bring her back into the world and put the broken pieces together.

Ah ha I'm underground  
Ah ha I'm underground  
Ah ha I'm underground  
  


            The boy needed her here.  Nothing was the same without her.  Not even ten minutes had past and he was dead inside.  Dead to it all.  He wanted to be with her, just like she had wanted to be with the other one.  Everything could be all right, everything could be happy again.  He pulls the rope he knotted years back from the drawer where he keeps his pants.  Never having a need it until this moment.  And ties it to the hook from the ceiling.

Daddy Daddy please  
Daddy Daddy please  
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground  
Wanna live underground  
  


            I wish I felt something anything!  I never thought death could be so boring and empty.  I wish I knew where he was, why he hasn't shown his face to me.  But I waited this long for this moment; I can wait a little bit longer.  I am not giving up hope that it all work out to my advantage.  Wait what's this?  I sense something pulling me back, making me leave.  I can't!  He needs me!  I try to scream but nothing comes out.  Then I can feel again, the pains of the knife and I start to scream.  I am no longer dead and actually am happy by this.  Forgetting my thoughts moments ago.

Sister sister take take me down  
Sister sister take take me down

            The boy stood on the chair.  Gently pulling on the rope around his neck.  Closes his eyes while taking a deep breath.  And as if in slow motion steps off.  Then he gets a flash image within his soul.  She wasn't dead!  She was still here.  He opens his eyes to return firmly to the chair.  But it was too late.


End file.
